Letting Go

Season 1, Episode 39. 01/20/2025

Intro~

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Summary

This episode of RAW-tism is about the process of letting go.

Breathe

Letting go is one of the hardest things I have learned to do. My mind clings to negativity like a toddler with something they are not allowed to have. It’s very difficult—and incredibly uncomfortable—to wrench it out. I’ve always felt like I was holding my breath, waiting for the situations to fix themselves on their own. Unfortunately, that won’t happen without putting in the mental work to practice letting go. 

In the words of Rosie Fuentes from Rosie’s Rules:

“Breathe in

Breath out

Wiggle about

Now I'm ready to figure this out

Vamos a ver!”

Rosie’s Rules, PBS (2022-Present)

Whenever our protagonist, Rosie encounters a block in her path that leads to an overwhelming emotion, she says, “I need to flop.” She acts out her mantra, and when she gets up, she’s calmer and more energized to find a solution. One of the reasons I love watching this kid’s program when I nanny is because the episodes are specifically written to give Rosie challenges that help her learn how to manage her emotions, which is an excellent lesson for its intended child audience. It may be intended for younger kids—Rosie herself is five years old—but the lessons of these programs made for younger audiences can also help those of us who are older. The simplicity of the lessons is great for all ages and can really help you learn healthy coping mechanisms (and some Spanish).

The most important thing to remember is to…

Just keep breathin' and breathin' and breathin' and breathin'

“Breathin,” Ariana Grande, Sweetener (2018) 

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Embrace the Pain

The hardest part of letting go is learning to embrace pain. Shoving down your emotions is like a trash bag. Sure, you can push down trash to fit more into it than just piling things in, but everything has a breaking point. Something sharp could puncture a hole, or the seams could burst open. If you spend too much time shoving down your emotions instead of investing in a new “bag” (or, in this case, processing and accepting those feelings), the outcome will always be negative. 

Sometimes we need to compartmentalize. If you’re at work, with kids, or in another situation where it is easier to survive with a poker face, that’s understandable, but the important thing is to find time to sit with those emotions and let it go. 

Let it go, let it go

Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go

“Let It Go,” Idina Menzel, Frozen: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (2013)

Hehe, I couldn’t help myself. Apologies to those sick of hearing that song. Hopefully, it’s been long enough since 2013 for the annoyance from Frozen to have lessened. As you can probably tell, I’m writing this on a day when everything reminds me of song lyrics, so this will be a very music-excerpt-filled episode. 

The morning before writing this, I got a text from my mom. It was a screenshot of a Facebook post she made when I was thirteen, where she described how bad I felt after a challenging basketball practice. I was struggling with my asthma, and the ball hit the back of my hand hard enough for it to go numb. I sobbed the minute I entered my mom’s car and told her I was trying to tough it out, but I had failed. My mom told me that I had actually succeeded. Toughing it out isn’t something you continue indefinitely; you save face when you need to and let down the facade once you’re safe.

QUICK NOTE: I always thought it was weird how my mom would post things like this story on Facebook. Embarrassing, vulnerable moments like this could trigger negative feelings being reminded of it in the future. Still, it worked out well with my plans to write this episode today. Thanks, Mom! ;)

When it’s time to let down your guard, feeling everything is essential. Let yourself wonder, cry, do comforting activities, or stare at the wall while you work through your thoughts and feelings. 

Did something you regret? Accept your mistake and discover what lesson(s) can be learned from it. 

Someone you cared about betrayed you? Validate how you perceived it really happened, and work through your emotions to start the healing process. 

Lost someone you loved? Let those memories come, good and bad. To let go and move on, you must allow your mind to sort through these thoughts and feelings. 

It was very difficult to train my mind to work this way, but life is much easier now that I have. Bad things happen. I accept the situation, take time to mourn, then move on.

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Release 

When letting go, the biggest thing to remember is not to dwell on those negative emotions or the past. Let your mind process your feelings, but don’t keep bringing them back up. You don’t need to understand every detail. Sometimes, you need to let things not make sense. The world is a weird place. Not everything has a reason, a motive, or a cause. 

If you’re interested in examples from my life, I will gladly go more in-depth in a future episode including the worst summer of my life, losing loved ones, and changing my world view. 

Outro~