Let’s Go, Sports Team!

Intro~

This episode of RAW-tism discusses the behavioral expectations and gender norms within society.

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Explanation

A big obstacle that I struggled with growing up as an undiagnosed neurodivergent child was the expectations that were placed on me from the get-go. Since social difficulties are prevalent with autism, I struggled more than the average child.

Public Behavioral Expectations

With my disability being invisible and unknown to even myself, I was expected to act typical within my age group. With ADHD, most teachers were taught to look for young white males who show an excess of energy and difficulty following directions. They would miss the inattentive girl in class who hyperfocused on reading whatever book joined her that week. I would hide my books how other kids snuck in cell phones and read whenever teachers were talking because it was something I could easily focus on. 

I read 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea for fun in seventh grade and loved it. The school librarian asked me for the three weeks I borrowed that book if I’d prefer to pick something more my age. It was one of the books the library at my grade school had simply to make the area more academic. They didn’t expect someone like me to actually be interested in reading Jules Verne.

When I started reading the Jedi Quest series, the librarian stopped trying to help me find books with more “girly” topics. I think she realized by that point I wasn’t the typical student she was used to. It wasn’t like I was better or more interesting than the average girl. I was just me.

On the contrary, most people avoided me because of my weirdness. 

Instead of the “not like other girls” romantic trope, I was the horse girl who could only talk about horses. In that analogy, Pokémon was my horse. The most significant memory I have from sixth grade was being accused of showing off for the boys in class when I brought in a Pokémon handbook that came along with the first generation of the television series. I was just interested in learning about the different types of Pokémon. I wasn’t trying to catch anyone’s attention — I’d get annoyed when anyone of any gender attempted to talk with me while I was reading. One girl told me that her favorite character in the Pokémon show was Pokémon. Pokémon is not a character name. It’s like saying “animal”. It describes a collection of species, not an individual. I still bristle remembering that conversation.

Growing up, I was always either too loud or too quiet. I failed to live up to society's expectations regarding communication, personal space, eye contact, and attention. I couldn’t tell when people were disinterested in the topics I was blabbing about and struggled with any significant relationships outside of family. By fifth grade, I was reading at a college level, but couldn’t make any friends who were more than acquaintances until I was in college. Working in group projects, I would fix other people’s work, and it got to the point that I would do the whole project in high school while the rest of my group took credit. I was never able to advocate for myself or tell anyone about my struggles. 

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Not A Sports Fan

A great example of my lack of understanding of social norms was sports. I’ve never really been a sports fan, and I didn’t understand why people were so into the scores and stats of different teams. I watched the Super Bowl for the funny commercials and party foods my dad would buy. The static of an unconnected cable box was more entertaining to me than watching sports. I would’ve brought a book to every baseball game my dad would take me to if he had let me. At the very least I got nachos, which are always a plus. 

I understand the excitement of sports now that I’m older and see how monotonous adult life gets. Having something to root for that doesn’t substantially affect your life is comforting to those stuck in the same routine. I still don’t watch sports, but I am much more likely to listen to people gush about their favorite teams and players than I wish someone had done for me when I was obsessed with Pokémon. 

A big thing about neurodivergent diagnoses is that once we have an explanation for the difference in our behaviors, we can work to find a compromise. I can’t tell how loud my own voice is, and I used to overstimulate others all the time. Once I learned about Auditory Processing Disorder, I started training myself to focus on the vibrations in my throat. This way, I know how loud I’m getting by how strong the vibrations are. I didn’t stop being myself and I didn’t assimilate into society, but I found ways to coexist with this world that’s not made for who I was. Others have to make compromises as well for this to work. That’s what accommodations are. I won’t yell out the answer to a rhetorical question in class and in exchange, I get a copy of the professor’s lecture notes ahead of time to help me understand and follow along better. It isn’t an exact science, we don’t sit down at a table and work out a contract. That is just the way I was choosing to explain the idea. 

A big thing about accommodations, though, is that most educational establishments and places of work require proof of diagnosis documentation to provide anything more than anyone else would get. This is an issue. I didn’t get ANY accommodations until the second semester of my sophomore year of college when I was diagnosed with PTSD and OCD. I got my most helpful accommodation in my last year of college after I had finally received my autism and ADHD diagnoses. If I had these accommodations from the get-go, I would have had a much better experience in school. My mental health wouldn’t have gotten to dangerous levels of unwellness, and I could’ve used that potential that teachers always felt I was wasting. I have always been intelligent and clever. With the right help, I could’ve done much better without sacrificing my inner peace. This is the reason behind my company, Archlink LLC. I want to advocate for every child to get the accommodations they need regardless of diagnosis, familial status, or IQ. No one deserves to feel beaten down by the school system. It’s supposed to bring it’s students up. I’m fighting to change that. 

Outro~